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Bike Crimes!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by onm, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. onm

    onm

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    Following on from a thread that James, Mike and myself have been LOLing at for a couple of days on my Facebook page, I present to you the official 'Bike Crimes' thread.

    What you have to do is this...

    Tell your stories of ridiculous things you have witnessed people do on or with their bikes here in Japan (or elsewhere if you like), and provide photographic evidence where possible.

    Mike has suggested we make this into a monthly contest, with a little prize for the most insane stuff.

    Like I say, ideally you will be able to provide photographic evidence of your findings, and this will make the whole thing a lot better. If you can't, you can just tell us about it anyway. It is all good.

    Have at it!
     
  2. Half-Fast Mike

    Half-Fast Mike Maximum Pace

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    Here are some of the behaviors that will earn points. This is not an exhaustive list. The more stupidity captured in one picture or movie clip, the higher the score. There's no fixed point value to each infraction. Rather, a very subjective sliding scale of suicidal stupidity, with exponential escalation for particularly breathtaking combinations.

    • Talking on the phone while riding
    • Texting on the phone while riding
    • Riding in the road, on the wrong side
    • Holding an umbrella while riding
    • Smoking while riding
    • Wearing enormous DJ headphones while riding
    • Carrying a passenger over 4 years old (double points if passenger is obviously older than the cyclist)
    • Wearing sunglasses while riding at night
    • Riding with kick-stand deployed
    • Riding at night with no lights
    • Riding at night with lights turned off
    • Ninja mode (dressed all in black, sunglasses, no lights)
    • A chain rusty or noisy enough to make the judges physically ill
    • Frayed, kinked brake cables
    • Other examples of criminal lack of basic maintenance
    • Seat slammed lower than ankle height, resulting in ridiculous "pregnant mosquito" riding style
    • Random braking
    • Erratic steering
    • Live doping (i.e. drinking alcohol while riding)
    etc.

    Point multipliers will obviously apply if the culprit is a TCC member or police officer.

    Points will be deducted and/or medals redacted for self-portraits.

    At no time should you endanger yourself or others while recording kamikaze cyclists, although it will admittedly add value to the story if you become part of it!

    --HF Mike--
     
    jessie likes this.
  3. onm

    onm

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    Absolutely massive LOL at, ”Live Doping”!

    My camera is now charged and ready.
     
    jessie likes this.
  4. FarEast

    FarEast Maximum Pace
    Post Of The Week

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    Camera moved from back pack to Jersey pocket.

    To give an example take a look at the following:

    [​IMG]

    Points awarded for the following;

    • Over loading the bike with shopping
    • Riding in FlipFlops (Thongs)
    • Kid not wearing helmet
    • No lights
    • Riding in traditional clothing
     
  5. GSAstuto

    GSAstuto Maximum Pace

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    I guess I better take the side streets to the Cow tonite - Santa Suit- check, Multiple passengers - check, Lights - Christmasy ones - check, Bike - rusty Reindeer - check, Eggnog EPO - check
     
  6. StuInTokyo

    StuInTokyo Maximum Pace

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    Got to get out my camera, as I see most of the things on the list DAILY.... :rolleyes:

    How about sins of the bicycle as in bicycles that are just simply against nature?

    I have some pics of some of these bikes that should have been aborted, but lived..... :eek:
     
  7. onm

    onm

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    If they fit the bill, or you can give reason for your choice, get them uploaded. The more the merrier.
     
  8. laz

    laz Warming-Up

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    Is that a problem that MANY people when they go tunnel or facing up slope, they will suddenly decide they cannot go for it and step down from their bike without any warning, even there are lot of other bike following them and ready for put up power to go up slope?

    I have nearly hitting them a few times......
     
    Forsbrook likes this.
  9. onm

    onm

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    Definitely a crime. Annoying for a number of reasons;

    - Shows a total disregard for anyone behind.
    - Means you have to slow down and lose pace.
    - Is basically the person committing the offence saying, ”I am a pussy”.

    Get some footage next time it happens !
     
    Forsbrook likes this.
  10. Sikochi

    Sikochi Maximum Pace

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    I`ve seen all the above in my 8 months here apart from the live doping. I am guilty of a couple...overloaded mama chariot with shopping, umbrella use (but only on the flat/straight bike paths; when manoeuvring/at junctions it goes in the basket)

    Can I add riding with a dog in the basket...
    I also loathe cyclists who use the bike to take the dog for a walk but I saw that in England and not as bad as the time I saw a van coming slowly towards me with a dog in close proximity and it turned out the guy was walking the dog whilst driving??? WTF! - lead through open window.

    Whilst I would usually insist on kids wearing helmets seeing the plastic lids some shops round here peddle for helmets (and some kids wearing them) I think its safer if they don`t use them as it creates a false sense of security.
     
  11. FarEast

    FarEast Maximum Pace
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    Sikochi.... Im guilty of walking the dogs on the bike (well full out sprint for the poor buggers).... although it was on the MTB and it was 40miles XC, God knows how many miles they did!
     
  12. Half-Fast Mike

    Half-Fast Mike Maximum Pace

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    If it's just cause you can't keep up, then it's only 3rd degree sloth; say ten Hail Marys and five Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers. But if you were holding the leash while riding or tied it to your handlebars you should be locked up.

    Sikochi: no absolution for umbrella offenses. That's what COATS and HATS are for.

    Unyieldingly,

    --HF Mike--
     
  13. snoogly

    snoogly Maximum Pace

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    I do ride in ninja clothes, on a ninja bike, at night ~ but I do use lights bright enough to make eyeballs bleed.

    I suppose supernova-bright lights are a crime in their own right .... :(
     
  14. Sikochi

    Sikochi Maximum Pace

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    In my defence...I wear glasses and the umbrella reduces the amount of times I have to stop and wipe my glasses as I constantly had to do in the absolute deluge we had the other week.

    FarEast: As msimwil says, if you weren`t holding the lead then that`s an allowable exception.
     
  15. jdd

    jdd Maximum Pace
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    I actually know of a couple different people in the states that hook their dogs to their bikes with a long leash and a good long bungie and then get pulled around.
     
  16. Badar

    Badar Warming-Up

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    I was wondering where on this list does "a Japanese lady on a grocery laden mamchari with one hand on handlebar, other holding a lit cigarette and a cellphone stuck between her ear and shoulder riding on a poorly lit one-way street at night... without lights" stand?
     
    Forsbrook likes this.
  17. kiwisimon

    kiwisimon Maximum Pace

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    Change tunnels into uphill slopes and MANY people into MOST racers with 27 gears and you'll understand the frustrations of the racing singlespeed rider. Fixie riders know the same feeling when the group on the road suddenly decides it's time to change down and the fixie guy wants to put down the power.
     
  18. onm

    onm

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    Liking the discussion, but we need to step it up and get some footage of this, to add to the hilarity / frustration.

    Lead by example, I know...
     
  19. Half-Fast Mike

    Half-Fast Mike Maximum Pace

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    grocery overload - 1
    lit cigarette - 2
    cellphone - 2
    no lights - 2

    7 points. That would be a good start.

    --HF Mike--
     
  20. onm

    onm

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    Ah! A point system!

    I like your thinking, sir!

    This needs to be worked through and standardized. I am happy to code something to make the point awarding process easier once we have agreed on the ISO standard.
     

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